Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Men are the solution.

Thinking about rape sucks.

I mean, really.
It is no fun.
At all.

That in mind, I have crazy appreciation and respect for non-victims who've chosen to join the anti-rape movement. Shoot! I have crazy appreciation & respect for anyone who chooses to align themselves with the movement.

I am a survivor of sexual assault. I have to think about rape. Whether I like it or not, it is a part of every step I take, every sentence I write and every word I utter. Being a survivor of sexual assault is part of who I am. And frankly, if I didn't HAVE to think about rape I'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't. Because (as we know) it is no fun. At all.

And I like fun. To quote a wise friend from high school, "fun is awesome." And a world without rape sounds pretty fun to me. Idealistic? Sure. But certainly fun.

A world without rape. Think about it...picture it...got it?....okay,.....now......smile, aaaaaaand [repeat].

Granted I am not sure how to create a world without rape. But I am fairly certain that the 1 in 6 - 8 women and 1 in 10-33 men who are survivors cannot do it alone.

Perhaps you've heard these statistics before. If so, you've probably heard them used as an educational tool or even a scare-tactic. But have you ever heard them as an invitation? If not, I invite you to.

So far, the business of fighting sexual assault has been pretty much left-up to survivors and their close family and friends. Please understand that it is draining to have your deepest wounds continually re-opened during your regular-work-week. (The plus-side of this is that you're generally forced to make great strides toward healing in a relatively short time. In my mind, the benefit outweighs the cost). As such, I think the movement could flourish (rather than merely survive) if we were joined, en masse, by people who weren't so darn 'drained' by it.

So please, join us!

Right now, I am not asking much. It's as easy a 1...2...3...

1. Please become a follower of this blog (see the grey follow button at right? yeah...that's the one...)
2. Check for updates now and again.
3. If you feel inspired to do so, leave a comment -- ask a question! Start a debate! Do a little bit of very-un-fun thinking about rape.

That is all I ask of you. And I believe the benefit could be great. I believe that if we're willing to make small, incremental changes we can collectively make a big difference.

Anthropologist & feminist Margaret Meade famously said, "never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

Ms. Meade was right on. But we have a powerful tool that world-changers in the past lacked: the World Wide Web. So with respect for these "small groups" (to whom we owe so much), I say, let's shoot bigger.

Surviving isn't good enough anymore. We all deserve to thrive.

PS -- I should probably call attention to the (true but) misleading title of this entry. I think it's catchier than "everyone is the solution" (We are the World pretty much covered that territory -- jus'sayin).


  1. INdeed! I here where your coming from. Its much like this in all forms of social justice. For example... Most backing an end to homicide are a victim's relative or friend. You see this across the board. I think its because people only see what they have experienced. This is a blessing and somewhat of a hurdle. I say this because to really get behind these movements and to create the world that works we have to get dipped into that turmoil called injustice, rape, homicide or what have you. Im not saying go out and find trouble.. Being that you are a human... and most of our daily lives are spent with humans.. pretend as if its already happened to u. If it happened in this state, it happened to you.. same thing for the country, same thing for the world. Take a personal stake in it. We don't have time to all experience the many pains this planet gone astray has to offer. Its time now to collectively feel that pain... I know.. A bit cliche, but if we dont its like we lose focus. Then when another victim of some bogus inconceivable act pops up.. then we are like "GRAB UR GUNS BOYZ(or grlz)!" TOO LATE HOMMIES! Yeah.. get booted up. But lets not wait for more victims. We are almost guaranteed that shit is gonna happen again, so like Eva said.. just start doin something. Follow a blog, start one. Tell some one the unarmed truth.. i dont know.. we just dont have time! Am I making since?Anyway. Truth Beauty and Goodness. U da Greatest EVA!

  2. As an ally in the struggle, I can't agree with you more! Let's keep fighting the fight. We are ALL affected by sexual violence, even if it doesn't happen directly to us.

    Love you, Eva! xo